Threshold (Anemones)

Revisiting a project from several years ago, I found this drawing and painting to be such a struggle to create today. I hate when art-making is a struggle. I feel like I'm at the threshold between old and new (what I've done and what I'm not sure of). I'm feeling insecure about it. Frustrating and challenging. I just wanted to put this idea down. It's been milling around in my head for weeks. But my vision and reality have become two different things. Maybe that's a good thing? This is what came out. I'm not sure yet what I think, because they are me and not me at the same time. I know that I am impatient and rusty. But I was thinking of my old friend Klimt a little bit. And a new guy came into my head today, Odilon Redon. Not someone I ever look to. But I don't have control over that. When I draw, it's something else that moves the brush and pen...this much I do know. I'm feeling like those fragile anemones.

Venus and Adonis (the origin of the red anemone)

Anemones (the death and rebirth of Adonis)